An Apology
by Madam RinRin
Summary: I'm sorry, Axel... I'm so sorry... AkuRoku short drabble. First person, recollection of Roxas, and the apology he never could say.


**Boo guys! Okay, so this is my first official AkuRoku fanfiction. To be honest, it's just a short drabble, but I hope you all like this as much as I did. They are my favorite pairing from Kingdom Hearts, just because it's something anyone can see. They have a special place in my heart :) thanks for reading, and please review!**

An Apology

I loved him. And I know he loved me. That's why he denied it, why he claimed to never feel. He didn't want to believe we could be more than we were. He was scared.

And so was I.

But if we couldn't feel, then why was it we had curiosity? Why did we become worried? Why was it we became embarrassed? Why did we laugh? Why did we have impulses, urges that consumed our entire being, until they swelled and grew bigger and bigger until they boiled over and left us burning? I always wondered, I knew, we had to have something there. And secretly, I could tell he had credence as well.

It's funny. I remember the day he led me down the white corridors and into his bedroom. I had said something-what it was is still foggy in my mind- but I know for sure now it was me, because saying that in front of anyone else would certainly mean either mockery or ridicule. I remember him yelling at me, and I had never been so fearful of him. The fierceness in his eyes, the way he had pushed me so harshly against the wall, I had to catch my breath to keep up with him. After a few more cacophonous words that had made no sense to me, I had to look away from his cold eyes before I fainted. But he didn't let me; instead, I felt him grab my chin, and he made me look straight at him as he placed his lips on mine in a soft, but forceful first kiss.

It had made me melt, freeze, silent.

It had made me _burn_.

I can still feel him. I can feel his hands on mine, lacing his fingers with my own. I can feel his hair, his red locks draped over my body, softly tickling my bare skin. I can feel him breathing on my neck, I can feel his lips on my own. And just as much as I can feel all this, I can still remember the feeling of the pain, the pleasure, the bliss he inflicted upon me that night. I remember the way I cried out his name in ecstasy, and the way my toes curled tightly. And I still can hear the words he whispered softly, sweetly into my ear.

"_I'm so sorry..."_

I remember his apology.

"_I can't control myself anymore."_

I remember his confession.

"_I won't let anyone hurt you."_

"_I'll always be with you."_

And I remember his promises. If someone like him could say something so meaningful to me, then truly, there was hope. All I could do was believe him that night. I believed every word he had said to me. I still do. Ever since that day, we were even more inseparable then before. And without saying a word, everyone knew. But they didn't know to what extent this bond had created.

If love is a feeling, then he and I proved we could be as humans were. None of them understood, not even he; he still called me crazy for believing. But isn't that proof in itself I am correct? That beings that don't even belong have some sort of emotion radiating? Hate, fear, sorrow, pain, happiness, desire, longing, hope.

Love.

"_I love you, Axel." _

"_Don't be ridiculous, you can't feel."_

I love him.

"_If you say I cannot feel, then I say love isn't a feeling. Love is something to have. And I have love for you." _

"_You're an idiot."_

"_I learned it from you."_

And I think he loved me even more.

"_...I guess you did, huh?"_

If only I could see him once more, one last time. I would make it last. I would be the one to apologize this time, for every harsh thing I've done. I would be the one to confess I could never suppress my urges. I would promise to never leave him.

But I guess he already knew all that.

I guess it's too late anyway, since he is gone now, faded into nothingness. And these thoughts of mine will never be expressed. Because I'm not really even thinking even more. This is just my imprint, my last sentiment.

If only I could love him once more.

I'm sorry, Axel. I'm so sorry.

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><p>"<em>Hey Roxas. Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lot's of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest."<em>

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><p><strong>Please review, because you guys are what keep me writing ^.^ I hope you enjoyed it!<strong>_  
><em>


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